R. Kelly’s oldest daughter Buku Abi opened up on Thursday night’s episode of Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta about the struggle she has endured thanks to her disgraced father.

She broke down discussing what life has been like for her just because her dad is R. Kelly. It has not been easy for Abi. The hate even caused her to contemplate suicide.

“Having to deal with everything in the media with my father is not easy. People are constantly like, ‘How do you feel about the scandals?’ I don’t give a f*** about the scandals. I have an issue with my father. I had to drop out of school. I’ve had parents not let their children hang out with me. I spend a lot of days, or nights, crying. But, like, damn. I’m sad, and I have the right to be sad,” the 21-year-old explained on the WETV show.

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It has been a whirlwind year for the young woman born Joann Lee Kelly. The release of Surviving R. Kelly, as well as the R&B singer’s criminal issues has taken a toll on Abi.

After the Lifetime documentary, she used Instagram to share an emotional message in which she called her father a “monster. Unfortunately, social media was not sympathetic to her. She quickly became a target of negativity and hate simply because she is R. Kelly’s daughter.

“I get that all the time. And people don’t realize, like, how bad. People don’t realize how bad that hurts, because it’s, like, I didn’t do anything, you know? I didn’t ask to be here,” she said as she began to cry.

Life has been challenging for Abi. The social media backlash had her thinking of killing herself.

“We’re still trying to heal from a lot, like, a lot, a lot, to the point where I almost tried to take my life. Like, that is heavy sh*t. And then to turn around and be like, ‘Oh, you should not feel that way. You’re selfish for feeling that way,’ it’s just, like, y’all are really heartless,” Abi revealed.

Thankfully the young woman found a way to push past all the negativity and pain. It is not easy, but R. Kelly’s daughter but Buku Abi is determined to build a happy life for herself.

Looking on the bright side, she admitted nothing could be worse than what she endured the first 21-years of her life because of her father and her famous last name. Distancing herself from R. Kelly is one of the many reasons Abi changed her name.

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Abi’s mother Drea Kelly was married to the disgraced singer from 1996 to 2009.

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